The final “SNL” of 2022, unsurprisingly, opened with a cold open sketch that took aim at Donald Trump’s “big announcement” earlier this week about launching NFT trading cards.
James Austin Johnson’s Donald Trump appeared, introducing himself as “hopefully your favorite president” before talking about his NFTs, which he called “Nifties.” “I call them Nifties, because they Very clean.”
It launched into a showcase of various increasingly ridiculous business cards that would appear onscreen with Johnson’s description of each: “For example, When I was an astronaut. Or I rode on an elephant. You can see me with your laser eyes. Biden.” Will melt the ice cream.
He said, “When you buy a card, you don’t get to choose which one you get. It could be me on the cover of a romance novel. I’m doing Partition. I’m doing Titanic. Or Me too as Jessica Rabbit. Wow, look at her legs. I’d probably be dating her if I wasn’t.
Several late-night hosts already gloated earlier this week about how these NFTs are similar to Pokémon cards, but Johnson’s Trump took great pains to explain to viewers that this is not the case.
“Trust me, it’s not a Pokémon. I mean no disrespect at all to my good friends Raichu,” before traversing off to a list of various Pokémon characters’ names.
“Now I know what you’re thinking, can they fight?” Trump said about the cards that are definitely not Pokémon. “Yes. Who would win between Delaware and Trump crossing the Trump Matrix?”
At this point, Donald Trump Jr. (played by Mickey Day) arrived to introduce his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle, giving Cecily Strong one last chance to play the character during her final episode of “SNL”. She was there to promote her new product, the Christmas CD.
“Thanks, and I know you’re going to love this Christmas album I’m calling, ‘Now That’s What No One Calls Music.'”
The sketch wrapped with Trump running down his own Christmas list, which was listed as:
merry christmas
ghost
don desantis
Grinch
netanyahu
Avatar
Feliz Navidad
Johnson’s spot-on impression then saw him link various seemingly random words through a stream-of-consciousness monologue.
Johnson’s Trump said how he got “Avatar”, “Now you look at Sam Worthington, he’s a great dad, he has four blue kids now. I have four kids too, five if you include Tiffany.” “
Watch a clip from the cold open in the video above,
